Catching A Unicorn Fart
Right now, some of you are ecstatic over scoring some Esoterica, Germains, or Balkan Sobranie from last month's drop. And, some of you are probably frustrated because you weren't able to purchase any and were left wondering how the others were able to beat you to it. Well, I'm going to share an insider secret with you on how this works so you can increase your chances of scoring a Unicorn Fart the next time we have some in stock.
Honestly, there's not much to this insider secret because the key to increasing your chances of being able to purchase a Unicorn Fart (hard-to-get blend) is really quite simple and easy. In fact, it's so easy, "even a caveman can do it." So, what is it?? Ok, ok, don't get your pipe cleaners in a knot ... here it is: become an STP site member. Yep, that's pretty much it. It's not that STP site members hear about the Unicorn Fart drops before anyone else. They don't get to pre-order and we don't keep a "list" of preferred customers who we parcel out the goods to like some of our competitors. Nope, the reason why STP site members have a better chance of scoring a Unicorn Fart is because being an STP site member gives you access to a "member wallet" where you can safely and securely store your billing, shipping, and payment information. Ok .... soooooo???
Well, when it comes to being able to purchase something quickly, having the site member wallet translates into a simple matter of logging in on our website, adding the item you want to your shopping cart, clicking on the "View Cart" button to go to your shopping cart, and clicking either the "PayPal" or "Checkout" buttons. Bing, Bang, Big Bada-boom ... and you're done because the system automatically pre-fills your shipping and billing information for you. In other words, you don't have to waste precious time typing in your billing, shipping or credit card information to complete the purchase. A few quick clicks and ... TOUCHDOWN!! The crowd erupts in cheers ... horns are blowing ... confetti is flying ... a rainbow appears in the sky ... and you can sleep like a baby knowing that you'll be receiving something you treasure in just a few, short days.
Why does being able to check out quickly make a difference? Because whoever pays for the item first, gets the item. For example, let's say you add the last 2 tins of Esoterica Penzance to your shopping cart and, instead of checking out and paying for them, you begin shopping for other products you want. Another customer comes along and adds those same 2 tins to their shopping cart, but they check out and pay for them right away. When that happens, not only are the 2 tins removed from our inventory, they also are removed from your shopping cart while you're shopping. You could even be in the middle of typing in your shipping or payment information in the check out process, but if the other customer completes the payment for them before you do, the system will remove them from your cart. So, it's absolutely critical to be able to quickly checkout and pay for the Unicorn Fart you want to improve your chances of getting it.
Here's another secret: if you add an item to your shopping cart, it remains there until you remove it, pay for it, or it becomes out-of-stock (because another customer(s) purchased the item). So, if there are other items you would like to purchase in addition to a Unicorn Fart -- especially if you want to take advantage of the free shipping for orders of $100 or more or not pay shipping for two orders -- the solution is to add the other items you want to your shopping cart Before we announce the Unicorn Farts are in stock. Then, when you receive the email announcement, your cart with the other items will be ready and waiting for you to add the Unicorn Fart and quickly check out.
The final bit of advice I want to impart is this: be prepared. Those who score the Unicorn Farts are prepared. They've read the emails we've sent and know when the product will be in stock and what the purchase limitations are (if any). They're on our website and any other items they might want are already in their shopping cart and they know beforehand what Unicorn Fart they want to purchase, so when the product pages for the Unicorn Farts are revealed, they are ready to pounce.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to know what the purchase limitations are for any Unicorn Fart and to not exceed the limit when you place your order. The reason I stress this is because, on the day a Unicorn Fart is in stock, we do not have time to contact a customer who orders more than the stated limitation and wait for them to respond. Our only recourse to ensure that everyone has a fair chance to purchase a hard-to-get product is to immediately cancel the order (with a full refund, of course) of any customer who exceeds the stated purchase limit. We're sorry we have to do that, but it's the only option we have. And, since the quantity of Unicorn Farts we receive are extremely small, chances are, if your order is cancelled because you exceeded the purchase limit, you probably won't have enough time to get back on our website, add the item to your shopping cart, and pay for it before the product is sold out. So, please ... PLEASE!! ... read the email announcement carefully and know what the purchase limitations are BEFORE you place your order.
And, lastly, we understand and appreciate the fact that the majority of our customers are hardworking individuals who might not have the ability to shop for their piping supplies during work hours. And, considering that more customers were able to participate and purchase Esoterica, Germains, and Balkan Sobraine blends when we released the last drop on Saturday, September 14th, we've decided to release future Unicorn Fart drops on Saturdays as well with the hope that doing so will give more of our customers an opportunity to purchase a hard-to-get blend.
As always ... Happy Piping!
The Story Teller